Whenever we get together with family on special occassions - like Christmas - we will raise our glasses jubilating the words "aos presentes e ausentes". It's one (and maybe the only) thing I took on board from my mother in law and it is a lot less casual than a mere excuse to get drinking.
Initially I thought those words to nearly religiously encompass those that deceased and are no longer with us, but it is not (just that).
It honours all those that cannot or even did not want to be present, for whichever emotional or practical reason and that includes those that have passed away. For a moment, it brings those that are elsewhere, side by side, to those that are present.
There is a certain irrelevance about the motive that would have prevented other people from standing there with us, maybe even a degree of selfish sense of forgiveness, messaging we are not revolted with whom is not joining us, albeit overwhelmed with gratitude for all those occassions that they did, even if in mere memory.
This year I have seen people having to have to abondon their, our, my world, more than ever before insofar I can vividly remember. Whether it is an uncurable desease or economic dispair in an individual life or whether affected by nationwide armed conflict or some unbalanced or environmentally threatened society hardly recognizable on a map, as soon as a disproportionate hardshift takes over, through time, there is a certain irrelevance as to whether someone manages to keep their vital organs functioning or not.
It is not mere human nature, but simply natural to anything living to seek growth and set root in an environment. In a crowded world that often implies indvidual paths cross and intentions conflict. We are not all equal, we are all different. That should not mean we should ignore each other, but rather the opposite, I would think. But that's just me. Cheers.
